You can't teach someone to be funny, but you can teach comic timing. If you

listen to a good comic, you can learn how to put it on a page.
Christopher Moore

There's something so quirky and fun and nerdy about the Tony Awards... We're dorks being silly up there.
Barrett Foa

Various circumstances, mainly to do with my military service, prevented me from doing a Ph.D., and I have often regretted it, though you do need to choose the 'right' supervisor in the 'right' discipline - no easy task when you are totally inexperienced.
Yves Chauvin

I am a social democrat - I believe in pursuing greater equality and tackling social justice - but... you can't do that unless you have got a strong economy, unless you have got a vibrant business base earning the wealth that makes that possible.
Nicola Sturgeon

The measure of success is happiness and peace of mind.
Bobby Davro

We tell applicants, 'If you don't intend to be here for life, you needn't apply.'
S. Truett Cathy

As an HR Manager, you don't have to build a top-down perks program. You decide how much you want to invest in your employees, and then you give your employees the control to build a custom perk package for themselves.
Paige Craig

I don't go to clubs. I don't know what club mixes are supposed to sound like.
Kenny G

When I was growing up, Asians were so few and far between as to be almost invisible. And so the idea of an Asian American movement or an Asian American thrust in this country was unthinkable.
Grace Lee Boggs

There are only so many stories in the world... Duplication of plots is bound to happen because most writers have read very extensively in their genre and have become aware they are adding an extra layer to the meta-narrative, finding a new spin on the original.
Kerry Greenwood

Gemeoss

I once interviewed David Herbert Donald, the Lincoln historian, and we talked about how one

deals with the secondary sources and the previous biographies. He said something which kept coming back to me as I worked on Cleopatra, which was: 'There's no further new material; there are only new questions.' Stacy Schiff Music - opera particularly - is a process which is endurable or successful only if it is achieved by people who love to collaborate. Sarah Caldwell I tend to overthink things. I'm not the guy who screams 'This is a world smash!' when I finish a song. Bruno Mars You know, nobody can ever cook as good as your mama. Paula Deen Laws are generally not understood by three sorts of persons, viz, by those who make them, by those who execute them, and by those who suffer if they break them. George Savile I love being in a courtroom. Kamala Harris Passive fatalism can never be the role of a revolutionary party, like the Social Democracy. Karl Liebknecht Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time. Vic...

While women certainly have made great strides toward pay parity in the past 30 years,

there is still a gap in earnings between men and women in equivalent professions. Ginny Brown-Waite I suddenly saw that all the time it was not I who had been seeking God, but God who had been seeking me. I had made myself the centre of my own existence and had my back turned to God. Bede Griffiths I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny. Jonathan Davis The bulk of my set is instrumental and you have to give yourself and the audience some relief because a performance is not about great guitar playing it's really about entertainment. Leo Kottke Put your nose into the Bible everyday. It is your spiritual food. And then share it. Make a vow not to be a lukewarm Christian. Kirk Cameron When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy. Matt Lucas Some people obtain fame, others deserve ...

No one wants to see a person on TV who's super-ultra-cool. That's Superman, that's a

thing of the past. Heroes are now flawed, and have terrible tempers, you know? They're real people. Nathan Fillion The book is a dialogue between The Dalai Lama and a group of scientists about how we can better handle our destructive emotions and how to overcome them. Daniel Goleman Third, we could, while denouncing them both as illegal, have acquiesced in them both and thus remained neutral with both sides, although not agreeing with either as to the righteousness of their respective orders. George William Norris If a D.C. event doesn't have crab cakes, it's low-rent and you need to flee. Tony Hale As someone who has lived the nightmare of losing a child, I know that the enormous hole left behind remains forever. Ann Hood What is the system? It revolves around the banks, the system is built on the power of the banks, so it can be destroyed through the banks. Eric Cantona It's interesting as one grows older to keep in touch with the cutting edge. Faye...

The more living patterns there are in a place - a room, a building, or

a town - the more it comes to life as an entirety, the more it glows, the more it has that self-maintaining fire which is the quality without a name. Christopher Alexander As far as loneliness, I feel Los Angeles and its layout, having to drive everywhere - it is a lonely place. It's an isolated city in that respect because you're driving to places alone listening to the radio. Jason Schwartzman I mean, people who say that the Tea Party isn't a grassroots movement, I think, are incorrect. I think in some respects, it is a grassroots movement. Matt Taibbi I see couples fighting about the stupidest things. You just have to rise above everything. Sammy Hagar Making choices that improve things for all of us on the planet is an act of compassion, a simple act we can do any time we go shopping. Daniel Goleman I can't stand the kind of paralysis that some people fall into because they're not happy with the choices they've made. Hillary Clinton As a ki...

I don't know if you've ever tried writing a Doctor Who story, but

it's a lot more difficult than it initially appears, especially if you've got more than one assistant. Sarah Sutton It is completely surreal because two years ago I wasn't swimming, I was 10 kilos heavier and was on a completely different path in my life, I was still living in Sydney, I'm just so happy now. Libby Trickett Wars will remain while human nature remains. I believe in my soul in cooperation, in arbitration; but the soldier's occupation we cannot say is gone until human nature is gone. Rutherford B. Hayes Any time you're working in the world of taming animals, you're going to get hurt. But it's a rush that we get. Cesar Millan I suppose when I started out I would have liked to have been the darling of critics or something, but everybody wants to be loved and admired. John Milius Some people are going to be happy with my decision, some people aren't... But I must live my life. Thomas Hearns If my kid couldn't draw I...

If you wish to draw off the people from a bad or wicked custom, you

must beat up for a march; you must make an excitement, do something that everybody will notice. Lewis Tappan The lawlessness of frontier life in America has been pictured as a remarkable phenomenon. In reality, it was the natural consequence of indiscriminate mixing of volatile substances. Paul Harris Cursed be he above all others Who's enslaved by love of money. Money takes the place of brothers, Money takes the place of parents, Money brings us war and slaughter. Anacreon I can't get my head around the fact that the technology of the first two movies, which are forty years prior to Star Wars, is so much better than any technology they had in Star Wars! David Prowse Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. Denis Waitley The two big advantages I had at birth were to have been born wise and to have been born in poverty. Sophia Loren Experience ...

Warhol's images made sense to me, although I knew nothing at the time of his

background in commercial art. To be honest, I didn't think about him a hell of a lot. Barbara Kruger I visited the Chinese side last year. The Chinese are in a constant state of military readiness. They have all their nuclear weapons in the area, presumably trained on targets across the border. Harrison Salisbury The fundamental sense of freedom is freedom from chains, from imprisonment, from enslavement by others. The rest is extension of this sense, or else metaphor. Isaiah Berlin The upside to smoking is that you get to be social. I was looking for a light when I bumped into Ben Harper's manager. A couple of days later, Ben and I were in the studio. Beth Orton Today it is becoming harder to speak out, with the inception of the Patriot Act, the president has legislated free speech to be a crime. Frank Serpico I have only one eye, I have a right to be blind sometimes... I really do not see the signal! Horatio Nelson Truth is a thing immortal and perpetual, an...

For those who are able to work, work has to be seen as the best

route out of poverty. For work is not just about more money - it is transformative. It's about taking responsibility for yourself and your family. Iain Duncan Smith I like making songs up. Whether or not they're great songs or good songs, whatever. It's something I've always done, and I definitely feel like I've gotten better at it. Jeff Tweedy It's interesting that so many books now are published as the first in a series. It never occurred to me. Although 'The Giver' does have an ambiguous ending. I've heard about that from readers over the years. Lois Lowry I no longer buy papers or tabloids or magazines or read blogs. I used to. But it was just filling up my day with hatred. Adele When I get dolled up to go out, men turn their heads and I'm used to it. But I think all women are sexy and should embrace that side of themselves. Malin Akerman With fitness, I do Bikrams hot yoga. The gym that I have in my building is amazing. I love...

There's this wonderful first assistant and he'll be saying, 'Now Harry goes down among the

dragons.' You have to hold yourself together. Because if you lose it for a second then you're sunk. Maggie Smith We believe we've got the skill base and the techniques to supply the chips that really enable the end manufacturers to develop exciting, innovative products themselves. David Milne Oscar Wilde said the rich and the poor are equal - they can both sleep under the bridge. Right? Do they have a right? You're damn right they have a right! Al Lewis If we'd have said we were not upset, they would have thought we were so rich it meant nothing to us, and if we say we're upset about it, they'll say money is all we care about. John Bonham We... are not really free if we can't control our own government and its policies. And we will never do that if we remain ignorant. Charley Reese Our universities and museums are respected around the country. Jane Byrne George W. Bush bought the election - period. End of story. There is no argument. Yo...

The strategy of my coach and me was that we looked at pictures

of all the best pole vaulters from around the world, and we took the best parts from them, and we created a person that had never existed. We then started to work toward being such a person. Sergei Bubka I have a completely addictive personality. Diet Coke is my last - God, I know people counting days off Diet Coke; I'm such a Diet Cokehead. Now I won't let myself buy it. Mary Karr Take a random selection of photographs of America in 2012 and 2002 and 1992 and, except for the skinny jeans and the porkpie hats, you'll be hard-pressed to tell the years in which the pictures were taken. Graydon Carter Trust me, I did not set out to establish three pen names and, for the record, I do not recommend it as a career strategy. The idea back at the start was that I would stick with the name that proved most successful. Jayne Ann Krentz I remember when I thought of singing as the bit that went between the guitar playing - something I couldn't wait to get out of the way...