I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.Rita RudnerGenerally, when a record

label suggests album ideas for you, you smile politely, and then proceed to shoot it down, because it's never what you as an artist feel is right for you.
John Scofield

Everybody has a bad hair day, but us girls still like to be told we look nice even if we don't feel like we do.
Cat Deeley

Illegal is not a race, it is a crime.
Russell Pearce

I think, as a general matter, clearly, the United States globally supports the development of democracy and the democratic yearnings of all people.
Richard Armitage

In the United States, large corporations control some members of Congress. All this does is delay the corporation's funeral at our expense.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Hope travels through, nor quits us when we die.
Alexander Pope

A government without the power of defense! It is a solecism.
James Q. Wilson

When you end a successful sitcom, the most sensible thing to do is go back to the theater.
John Lithgow

Gemeoss

I repeat that the distance between the earth and her satellite is a mere trifle,

and undeserving of serious consideration. I am convinced that before twenty years are over, one-half of our earth will have paid a visit to the moon. Jules Verne What I love about 'The Chew' is that we have these celebrities come on, and you get to see them in a different light, cooking or enjoying food, when we usually don't see them in that setting. So it's a lot of fun for their fans to see them be normal people and having that commonality of food. Carla Hall I don't want the big flashing lights and red carpet, like, 'Here comes another Bon Iver album!' I just want it to be my bedroom-y thing. But that'll take a while to figure out. Justin Vernon The very essence of architecture consists of a variety and development reminiscent of natural organic life. This is the only true style in architecture. Alvar Aalto I came to architecture from building. Because my father was a builder, everybody was - and is - a builder in my family. Renzo Piano ...

In 2003, I almost died of an intestinal blockage when I was on a mountain

in Chile, filming a segment for 'Scientific American Frontiers.' Alan Alda But I feel truly wowed by the architecture and the meaning of the architecture if you get lost in it and think about the man hours in the smallest little chapel, and the love involved. God it's fantastic. Paul Bettany If only Coca-Cola had had the kind of message to accompany its addictive deliciousness that Fox News has, we'd all be speaking Cokelish today. Steven Weber I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first. Peter Ustinov I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off. Jack Paar Philosophy of science without history of science is empty; history of science without philosophy of science is blind. Imre Lakatos My advice to new artists is to embrace a broader concept of timelessness than vintage or retro. Brandi Carlile Every em...

My brother was a great audience, and if he liked the picture, he would laugh

and laugh and laugh, and he would want to keep the picture. Making people laugh with an image I had created... what power that was! Lynn Johnston Mies van der Rohe's architecture and modern architecture in general suffered from not only being repetitive, but not explaining to the populous what the different rooms were for. Charles Jencks I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution. Paul Lynde At that time, we were in charge. We didn't ask. We just did. We just did what was in our heart. Ben E. King The care of a wise and good man for his only son is inferior to the regard of the great Parent of the universe for his creatures. John Woolman My mother still calls me Jim and that is about it. Everyone else calls me Lee. My wife calls me whatever. Lee Child My grandmother gave birth to 13 children and I come...

The central premise behind Oslo was that if Arafat were given enough legitimacy,

territory, weapons and money, he would use his power to fight terror and make peace with Israel. Natan Sharansky The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them... Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will. Michel de Montaigne You can give some kind of spark of life to a comic that a photograph doesn't really have. A photograph, even if it's connecting with you, it seems very dead on the page sometimes. Daniel Clowes In my opinion, if we have not achieved peace, it is because people forget its most fundamental aspect. Before we talk about peace among nations, we must settle our peace with God. Sun Myung Moon So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' Tommy Cooper If somebody plans to carry out a series of murders... then this is obviously an evil and pre-meditated attack and in that case, there coul...

My uncle inspired me, and it was because of him that I become a wrestler,

but besides him, the one Superstar that really caught my attention growing up as a kid was 'Macho Man' Randy Savage.Rey Mysterio It's clear that Planned Parenthood went out of its way to paint me as some sort of a zealot - a Trojan-horse zealot who came into Komen and within 10 to 11 months had completely turned the place upside down. That's clearly not who I am, and it's not what happened.Karen Handel Once you become president, you don't even have to stop for red lights. And if it looks like traffic's too bad, you just take a helicopter.H. W. Brands From Julia Child to 'The Galloping Gourmet' and the Food Channel and Cooking Channel, our fascination with the spectacle of cooking has been a mainstay of TV entertainment.Chuck Norris I want to love. I want to enjoy life.David Cassidy The mistake we made in the 1990s was overestimating the potential of NAFTA's positive impact.William M. Daley I was set to confront the might of the ...

I just try to keep the same people I've had around me from Day One.

Keep it a real small circle because if you do that, not too much is going to go bad for you. Kevin Love I may not be as visible as I used to be, and by that I mean being in the clubhouse or on the field. But I'm just as invested as I've always been. Billy Beane I was a dancer for many years. I was a premier dancer with 'Porgy and Bess,' the opera. And I taught dance some, in different places. Maya Angelou I steal things from people, characteristics, and I just stock them in my head like a library to use for characters in the future. Luke Mably To the extent that we have a better understanding of the brain, we will have a richer appreciation of ourselves, of our fellow men and of society and, in fact, of the whole world and its problems. John Eccles I think what you wear really does need to reflect what your own personal style is. Rachel Zoe Write that novel. Start that business you've always wanted to. The ultimate high of life is the commitment to...

When I was studying... there weren't any black concert pianists. My choices were intuitive, and

I had the technique to do it. People have heard my music and heard the classic in it, so I have become known as a black classical pianist. Nina Simone Creation implies authority in the sense of originator. The possibility of a 'Fall' is implied in a Covenant insofar as the idea of a Covenant implies the possibility of its being violated. Kenneth Burke Other people - they practice and they practice... these fingers of mine, they got brains in 'em. You don't tell them what to do - they do it. God given talent. Jerry Lee Lewis In this day and time, with no competition you are really walking a tightrope. I mean you may think that no competition is good, but in reality no competition is really bad. Jerry Lawler I played a heap of snow in a school play. I was under a sheet, and crawled out when spring came. I often say I'll never reach the same artistic level again. Stellan Skarsgard The wisest have the most authority. Plato Francis Webb is easily our gr...

A fan sent me a letter and a $10 bill. It's a short letter -

all she said was, 'Hey, since it's harder for you to go out these days without getting photographed, here $10 for a pizza.' I was like, 'Aww, she sent me money for a pizza so I could eat at home!' Zac Efron I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in. This album has proven that somewhere in the human race, the human heart is still racing and breaking and I am so grateful. Barry Manilow I was a scapegoat. The media had to put responsibility on somebody, and I was chosen. They felt free to say that because someone was thin they were anorexic, which is ridiculous. Kate Moss An object imbued with intent - it has power, it's treasure, we're drawn to it. An object devoid of intent - it's random, it's imitative, it repels us. It's like a piece of junk mail to be thrown away. John Hockenberry I can't deny that some customers and prospects think it's ...

Queen Latifah used to help me out with my kids, because while we

were all out on tour - Public Enemy, Naughty By Nature, Queen Latifah, Heavy D - when Public Enemy went onstage, I didn't have anybody solid to watch my kids. So, Latifah would help me out. Flavor Flav As you know, I'm androgynous. I can wear a jacket that most guys wouldn't put on. But you make it in guys' sizes, and suddenly they're wearing them. I think styles should get back to getting people to wear things that look so good that they don't care. Steven Tyler In these difficult times, when tough decisions are required, the differences between Labour and the Tories are becoming much clearer. One party believes in intervention to reduce social and economic costs and the other believes in market forces and letting things take their course. Lucy Powell To clean your face thoroughly, even do a scrub, and let it sit and make sure your pores are clean before you go to club. If it sits on your face overnight, dirt just builds up. Even just laying there the ...

The spirit of the Olympic movement is great for young people because it teaches them

about the training and discipline required to compete. Even if they don't make the teams, they can rededicate their lives to the art of sport, discipline, and physical fitness. Richard M. Daley The sacrifices ordinary American men and women from communities large and small have been willing to make, often before they were past their teenage years, have secured our nation unprecedented freedoms and made us the world's bulwark of liberty. Steve Buyer I love the sea's sounds and the way it reflects the sky. The colours that shimmer across its surface are unbelievable. This, combined with the colour of the water over white sand, surprises me every time. John Dyer And if you get caught up in combing the Internet for what people think of you or how people perceive you, I think that's a slippery slope. Adam Scott Hezbollah's contempt for human suffering is total, as it showed once again this morning when its rockets murdered two Israeli Arab children in Nazaret...