I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends

but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
Billy Connolly

Things happen to everybody in the course of a lifetime. Relationships end, people die, tragedy befalls everyone. So everyone has this wealth of experience, and the older you are the more you have to draw on.
Eric Stoltz

I love kids, so two things that I have thought about are being a pediatrician or a kindergarten teacher.
Karlie Kloss

The first point of wisdom is to discern that which is false; the second, to know that which is true.
Lactantius

A true musician, like Johnny Cash, should be able to walk into a room with nothing but an instrument and capture people's attention for two hours.
Chris Cornell

The only people that you really have, that I learned, are your family, because they love you no matter what.
Miley Cyrus

At one time in my career, Barnes and Noble bookstores categorized my books as religious fiction.
Richard Paul Evans

Well, my main instrument is violin, but I think of myself as a songwriter who happens to play violin.
Andrew Bird

In any election, it's important that the public perceive that the election is held fairly.
Avi Rubin

At the ballet, you really feel like you're in the presence of something outside the rest of your life. Higher than the rest of your life.
Robert Caro

Gemeoss

I have not made any suggestions about climate change. This is more about blending or

shifting the conversation about the environment versus the economy. It's just such an old, outdated conversation. Jennifer Granholm Sometimes shooting on a smaller scale, as long as things don't blow out of proportion, is very liberating. Daniel Craig Because I'm so known as a meat-chef, when I talk about Meatless Monday some people look at me like I've lost my mind. I'm like, look, I'm not saying beef and pork is bad, I love it and I eat it six days a week. Michael Symon I think character is permanent, and issues are transient. James Stockdale It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister. Pauline Phillips I came from a town of maybe 30,000 people. Jim Caviezel The rights of homosexual people are human rights, and human rights are for everyone. Ricky Martin I'm pretty much honest to a fault. It's my best and my worst quality. Jennifer Westfeldt I loved Australia. I was very successful there. Todd B...

I feel my work is made for one being, one individual. You could say that's

me, but that's not really true. It's for an idealized viewer. James Turrell The only thing we know for sure about superiority in sports in the United States of America in the 20th century is that Bill Russell and the Boston Celtics teams he led stand alone as the ultimate winners. Frank Deford I love yoga. There's a lot of stretching involved, which helps with my flexibility and injury prevention. Vinyasa is my favorite as a recovery tool and for me to continue having my legs feel good. Alex Morgan When you get on the back side of your 60s, most people aren't working. Tom Petty God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Leanne Caret For as long as I can remember, I've just loved Chanel. Lily-Rose Depp I always dreamed of going to the Olympics. To be going to the Games in your own country is another thing; to do it as a potential medallist is another thing again. Hannah Mills To me, Berlin is as much a conceit as a reality. Why? Because t...

I worked with Ismail Merchant on 'The Mystic Masseur,' I did 'Sakina's Restaurant,' I've done

plays, I've been on Broadway, I've done movies, I've done TV... but nothing has had the pop culture penetrative impact as 'The Daily Show' has. It's the nature of the beast. Aasif Mandvi Pakistan will never be able to match the Indian militarily, and the effort to do so is taking an immense toll on the society. Noam Chomsky There is a difference between executive producing and producing. Producing, you have no life for two years. You take everything personally, you want to kill everyone, you're depressed and angry, and then in the end you feel excited when it actually works. But executive producing, you can go home at the end of the day. Sandra Bullock One of the things you can always depend on - this is one of the truths of the universe, and you heard it first from here - whatever we decide we want to do is what we do. Morgan Freeman My dream is to be able to make something in Baltimore that's just there. Make a movie or make a show there. I...

Native Americans' families experience living surrounded, living in increasingly small reservations surrounded by the society

that destroyed their civilization, and are still stigmatized. For decades and decades, for hundreds of years except in Indian schools, they weren't allowed to speak their language. That stigma takes a terrible toll. Joshua Oppenheimer Someone once accused me of slumming. I don't know what that means. I play basketball. And through that, I get to see a world that is not smart-kid world. Nick McDonell My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. Frank Sinatra As a child, I spent a lot of time at the library. Tracy Chapman It's such a cliche thing to say. I want to choreograph, I want to direct, I want to act, I want to write music, I want to play music, I want to sing. For me, it's never-ending. I want to do it all, really. Derek Hough Before someone can change his ideas, he has to open his heart. Maajid Nawaz In the IPL, you are often single-handedly responsible for the fortunes of your team. It makes you more ...

The New Testament is of full authority and open to the understanding of simple men

as to the points most needful to salvation. John Wycliffe It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and movie stars in general, but I've had a great opportunity to meet a lot of them, and maybe it's just because they don't behave that way around me, but I rarely see that kind of abuse of power. Ryan Reynolds At the suggestion of Professor Itaru Watanabe, and with his help, I left Japan at the age of twenty-three to pursue graduate study at the University of California at San Diego. Susumu Tonegawa Not everybody is a great rapper; not everybody lives for the art of lyricism. Wale From my perspective, I absolutely believe in a greater spiritual power, far greater than I am, from which I have derived strength in moments of sadness or fear. That's what I believe, and it was very, very strong in the forest. Jane Goodall You must make some decisions Wall Street dislikes. Nelson Peltz Debt, we've learned, is the match th...

I don't really know why I'm so busy, but I like it. Sometimes I think

I need to slow down. And then I'm even busier! Brianna Brown Frankie is my baby. He is the sweetest dog in the world. Frankie is like the son I never had. He keeps me healthy; I walk and run him. I always feel that I need to spend more time with him and give him more attention. I find myself unloading my emotions on him. Esai Morales There are so many ways to characterize evolutionary success. If one criterion is the number of millions of years that the species persists, we're still just infants. We're way too young of a species to tell if we were a creative fluke or if we have any staying power. Greg Graffin I'm an Irish-American, and I grew up in an Irish-American neighborhood. William Devane The people who are the most successful in life are not stopped by fear. Iman One song I do is 'The First Cut is the Deepest.' I try to remind people I wrote that song, not Rod Stewart. Cat Stevens Little do we find any Phoenician architecture or plastic ...

Everybody out there watches the show and has expectations of wanting to be an 'Idol',

but we're going to teach them how much hard work goes into it. Bo Bice As an example, one of the schools I have been studying is too small to compete effectively in most sports, but participates with vigor each year in the state music contests. James S. Coleman Randy said I could call him for anything, Paula said that she loved me and said how much of a star I was. Simon was like, keep up the good work and I'll have nothing to worry about. LaToya London When I was growing up, rock & roll helped give me my sense of identity, but I had to search for it. Trent Reznor I've learned a huge amount because I've been tested and, more importantly, I've been trusted. Pete Townshend I was a little self-centered gutter punk in the early 1980s and all I wanted to do was diss everybody. Anthony Kiedis Noah and his family were the only loyal and obedient subjects to the legal power: they alone were saved. Orson Pratt I am so thrilled by the privilege of lif...

I was always kind of a loudmouth and a class clown, and that kind of

led to doing all the school plays and trying out all kinds of different stuff. Dustin Milligan Unlike other loans, a reverse mortgage doesn't have to be repaid until the borrower moves out of the home or passes away. Jean Chatzky A good litmus test is that you should be comfortable with your significant other being present when you hang out with your friend. Olivia Wilde When I was younger, I read all the great food memoirs, by M.F.K. Fisher and Laurie Colwin and Julia Child and Nicolas Freeling and Ruth Reichl, and felt flooded with a sense of comfort and safety. Kate Christensen When you're undocumented, you're supposed to keep your head down and be quiet and pay taxes, social security - even though people don't know that we do those things - and not say anything. Jose Antonio Vargas I loved everything that went with rock n' roll. I loved being at the heart of such creativity and being young in such a stimulating and exciting era. Pattie Boyd Whi...

My father went to work every day, and it's my job to go to work,

too. Some days will be good, some won't be so good, but I have to go to work. Ted Danson A new principle cannot be put into effect without bringing with it new mistakes. But we may, however, be convinced that the laws of life - to which belongs the law that suffering follows the misuse of freedom - will finally be able to bring everything within its right limits. Ellen Key Franchises aren't to be avoided. They can be exciting, and they give you opportunities to do other films. Daniel Radcliffe I have known people who are working class or craftsmen, who happen to be more intellectual than professors. Noam Chomsky If you want to find the source of much of the music of modern day Russia, you will find it in the incredible compositions of that crazed lunatic Berlioz. Ray Bradbury If a man belittles a woman, it could become a lawsuit. If women belittle men, it's a Hallmark card. Warren Farrell We are the most amazing creatures that this world has ever produced,...

The reward is every night. The 90 minutes is such a payoff for us every

night; it makes it all worth it to us. The fans who come to the shows know how much we enjoy this. Gerry Beckley With 'Blue Slide Park' I wanted to have a number one album, and I did do it, so I'm not mad at it, but that was its goal. Mac Miller Before you open the lunch menu or order that cheeseburger or consider eating the cake with the frosting intact, haul out the psychic calculator and start tinkering with the budget. Caroline Knapp Love is a deception and a trap. Love is as big a myth that God sits with his flowing white beard in a throne and looks at us. Al Goldstein There was no child oncology in Uzbekistan and in Russia you don't have a chance because there are already so many on the waiting lists. Oxana Chusovitina I would always have been the geek who's your friend. I will never be the dark guy with a sensitive side, as much as I yearn to be. Jon Cryer I'm a writer, not a professional runner. It's fun and it helps me write. I nee...