Did you hear the one about the elderly Jew on his deathbed who sent for

a priest, after declaring to his astonished relatives that 'I want to convert.' Asked why he would become a Catholic, after living all his life as a Jew, he answered: 'Better one of them should die than one of us.'
Alan King

If you don't have an E-mail address, you're in the Netherworld. If you don't have your own World Wide Web page, you're a nobody.
Clifford Stoll

IBM decided they were going to enter the copying business in 1968.
Arthur Rock

Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English.
George Bernard Shaw

Perhaps the day may come when we shall remember these sufferings with joy.
Virgil

My father and brothers were coal miners.
Merle Travis

You can't undo the past... but you can certainly not repeat it.
Bruce Willis

If nationality is consent, the state is compulsion.
Henri Frederic Amiel

Well folks, that's about it for the show tonight.
John Fahey

Gemeoss

If you... scaled down human beings, scaled down society, if you land with a group

of little boys, they are more like a scaled-down version of society than a group of little girls would be. William Golding I've been performing since I was a child; my mother would have to pull me aside and tell me that I wasn't onstage. I was a cheerleader, president of choir, and in the school play. Aja Naomi King I am a very strong supporter of our government's view that it is important to engage with all countries around the world - very much including Russia. Chrystia Freeland I was wrapping up my stint on 'Daredevil' co-writing with Andy Diggle during the Shadowland story, when Marvel asked if I was interested in doing something else with DD but a bit different. When they explained the purpose of the 'Season One' books, I was intrigued - I'm a big advocate of books for people new to the medium - and said yes. Antony Johnston Spike Lee gave me the greatest reaction to the fact that I was this athlete-meets-artist, because I think he saw ...

Show business is one of the few businesses that the devil will actually agree to

own just a portion of your soul because he knows if you have a performer's ego you were probably working for him all along. Marc Maron I like everything perfect. Everything has to be neat. My sister is 5, and she's more messy than I am. I make my bed every morning, everything's perfect. My shoes are all arranged. It's sad. I'm a little like Ray, a little bit. Dakota Fanning All we know is that, at times, fighting the Russians, we had to remove the piles of enemy bodies from before our trenches, so as to get a clear field of fire against new waves of assault. Paul von Hindenburg Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year - and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade! Tony Robbins My politics are of a practical kind - the integrity of the country, the supremacy of the Federal government, an honorable peace, or none at all. Winfield Scott Hancock He who knows ho...

A friend of mine had his own theater company, and he jumped me in like

I was in a gang. And once I came in, it was just that simple. For the first time in my life, I felt, 'This is a career, this is a life that I think I can grow old doing.' It was love at first sight. I loved being on stage and reading these plays. It was great. David Alan Grier In school all I wanted to do was build technology. That's what I loved. Marc Benioff I tend to build bulk and muscle easily, and running seems to make sure I stay kind of stringy, if that makes sense. Apolo Ohno That's one of the reasons I moved to Florida. Of course, the main reason is the weather and the training. But there's more jealousy in Switzerland because it's so little and they don't have so many athletes. Martina Hingis But we can also take the radical view that the test of an economy has to do with the extent to which it is providing everybody with a decent means of living. David Korten I think I came to see Islam, or at least one part of Islam, as an importa...

It's not a country of articulate people, sophisticated people. There's too little subtlety. Men and

women don't enjoy each other very much in Australia. I don't find very many men sexy in Australia. Of course, I'm married and out of it, but still. Judy Davis We asked ourselves and the world to base decisions on good science, and I really believe the United States can be the leader in delivering that message to our international trading partners. Mike Johanns Preaching is effective as long as the preacher expects something to happen-not because of the sermon, not even because of the preacher, but because of God. John Hines You know, this is a business where only 15% make a living wage and only 9% of those are women. But I figured somebody has to be that 15%, somebody's got to be one of those women. Marcia Wallace Family trips to Yellowstone and to what are now national parks in Southern Utah, driving the primitive roads and cars of that day, were real adventures. Paul D. Boyer The dread of criticism is the death of genius. William Gilmore Simms A mask...

Indians mock their corrupt politicians relentlessly, but they regard their honest politicians with

silent suspicion. The first thing they do when they hear of a supposedly 'clean' politician is to grin. It is a cliche that honest politicians in India tend to have dishonest sons, who collect money from people seeking an audience with Dad. Aravind Adiga Be able to recognize the dangerous snakes, spiders, insects, and plants that live in your area of the country. Marilyn vos Savant I might survive a few days at sea. Probably not as long as Pi. Suraj Sharma I want to show little girls that the possibilities are endless. That's my goal - to not only do it for myself, but to show them I can do whatever I put my mind to. Nicki Minaj If I had my way, I'd wear jewelry, a great pair of heels and nothing else. Jada Pinkett Smith Bangalore has become a centre for healthcare. Geoff Mulgan I'm not actually teaching any more, but I am writing pieces for schools all the time, and for kids. Peter Maxwell Davies To be great we need to win games we aren't s...

The PhD system is the real root of the evil of academic snobbery. People who

have PhDs consider themselves a priesthood, and inventors generally don't have PhDs. Freeman Dyson I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh. Norman Wisdom I am proud to be an American, and proud that such beliefs are at the core of our country and its citizens. John Linder I have tried for much of my life to write as if I was composing my sentences to be read posthumously. Christopher Hitchens I think it's not inaccurate to say that I had a perfectly happy childhood during which I was very unhappy. Joss Whedon People that have been interested in our work for awhile... those are the last people you want to disappoint. Joel Coen I write music people enjoy playing and listening to, and I have a group that loves playing the music. Chuck Mangione Our choices are going to determine the future for our children, our children's children, and their children. I take ...

I was required by Capital to release one every six months and the fastest I

could do with all my touring was every nine months, and it would spook me every time because I never had what I needed and I really didn't want to do covers. Leo Kottke I don't think my spirituality has affected my character. I feel like my character is much more cynical about his beliefs, and I think I have to kind of drop what I believe in order to play him. Jason Ritter I believe that the first 8 years are most important and the time in a child's life when parents must be absolutely and completely present. Dirk Benedict Everything in Nature contains all the powers of Nature. Everything is made of one hidden stuff. Ralph Waldo Emerson If your theory is found to be against the second law of theromodynamics, I give you no hope; there is nothing for it but to collapse in deepest humiliation. Arthur Eddington Space is the breath of art. Frank Lloyd Wright Those religions that are oppressive to women are also against democracy, human rights, and freedom of ex...

Iraq... has also had contacts with al-Qaida. Their ties may be limited by divergent ideologies,

but the two sides' mutual antipathy toward the United States and the Saudi royal family suggests that tactical cooperation between them is possible. George Tenet My chief gifts are - naturally good at all sports with a raw talent for pretty much everything, which if nurtured could develop into improper talent. Michael Sheen We must not fail to recognise that television can be a hugely positive influence in children's lives, one of the greatest educators in contemporary society and an increasing influence on all the children followed in 'Child of Our Time.' Robert Winston Redd Foxx was the same gruff old codger you saw on television. Charley Pride One loves to possess arms, though they hope never to have occasion for them. Thomas Jefferson I want to know what the difference between the essence of a man and woman is. Tina Turner I see badly, I hear badly, and I feel bad, but everything's fine. Jeanne Calment I am not ready to fit into the mould of...

A couple of my teammates have the rare Ford F650 Super Truck, and they're kitted

out with everything - even flat-screen TVs for movies and video-game systems in the back. Ndamukong Suh My walk is a public one. My business is in the world, and I must mix in the assemblies of men or quit the post which Providence seems to have assigned me. William Wilberforce At the end of the day, just know that God made you, so you can be your own individual, and don't let people give you that peer pressure. Wyclef Jean Religion is often just tribalism: pride in a group one was born into, a group that is often believed to have 'God' on its side. Penn Jillette I have never joined the Facebook world because, to be truthful, social media scares me to death. It is kind of crazy how huge that world is, so I have never joined Facebook, but I do have Instagram and Twitter. Bindi Irwin Some people mistakenly think nature is very nice and benevolent and never betrays. Margaret Atwood What I've learned in my career is that it takes the same amount of effort ...

In industries where a lot of competitors are selling the same product - mangoes, gasoline,

DVD players - price is the easiest way to distinguish yourself. The hope is that if you cut prices enough you can increase your market share, and even your profits. But this works only if your competitors won't, or can't, follow suit. James Surowiecki For which reason I would exhort you to pay all due Regard to the government over us; to the KING and all in authority; and to lead a quiet and peaceable life. Jonathan Mayhew In choosing any role, I ask the same questions: what kind of part is it? is the role challenging? does the director have a vision? is the story moving? etc. Lukas Haas I'm 5-foot-5, and I'll wear a big parka and put the hood up, and nobody gives me a second glance. Daniel Radcliffe I don't want to pass a punitive law, or use politics as a vendetta. Romano Prodi But you know, as a kid I would have thought of a vegetarian as a wimp. Paul McCartney The morning after my high-school graduation found me up early job hunting. The dream ...